Husbands Quotes

 A deaf husband and a blind wife are always a happy couple. 
Author: Anonymous
Nationality:    
 A father may turn his back on his child, brothers and sisters may become inveterate enemies, husbands may desert their wives, wives their husbands. But a mother's love endures through all. 
Author: Washington Irving
Nationality: American
b. 3 April 1783  - d. 28 November 1859
  
 For the first fourteen years for a rod they do whine, For the next as a pearl in the world they do shine, For the next trim beauty beginneth to swerve, For the next matrons or drudges they serve, For the next doth crave a staff for a stay, For the next a bier to fetch them away. 
Author: Thomas Tusser
Nationality: English
b. December 1524  - d.  December 1580
  
 A girl becomes a wife with her eyes wide open. She knows that those sweetest words, 'I take thee to be my wedded husband,' really mean, 'I promise thee to cook three meals a day for 60 years; thee will I clean up after; thee will I talk to even when thou art not listening; thee will I worry about, cry over and take all manner of hurts from.' 
Author: Allan Beck
Nationality: English
b. December 1942
  
 A good husband should be deaf and a good wife should be blind. 
Author: Anonymous
Nationality: English   
 A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick. 
Author: Ogden Nash
Nationality: American
b. 19 August 1902  - d. 19 May 1971
  
 A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted. 
Author: Helen Rowland
Nationality: American
b. December 1875  - d.  December 1950
  
 A simple enough pleasure, surely, to have breakfast alone with one's husband, but how seldom married people achieve it. 
Author: Anne Morrow Lindbergh
Nationality: American
b. 22 June 1906  - d. 7 February 2001
  
 All husbands are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart. 
Author: Anonymous
Nationality: American   
 All women should know how to take care of children. Most of them will have a husband some day. 
Author: Franklin P. Jones
Nationality: American
b. December 1881  - d.  December 1960
  
 American women expect to find in their husbands a perfection that English women only hope to find in their butlers. 
Author: W. Somerset Maugham
Nationality: English
b. 25 January 1874  - d. 16 December 1965
  
 An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her. 
Author: Agatha Christie
Nationality: English
b. 15 September 1890  - d. 12 January 1976
  
 An extravagance is anything you buy that is of no earthly use to your wife. 
Author: Franklin P. Jones
Nationality: American
b. December 1881  - d.  December 1960
  
 An ideal wife is any woman who has an ideal husband. 
Author: Booth Tarkington
Nationality: American
b. 29 July 1869  - d. 19 May 1946
  
 And she named the child Ichabod, saying, The glory is departed from Israel: because the ark of God was taken, and because of her father in law and her husband. 
Tome: The Bible
Nationality: English   
 Art is a jealous mistress, and if a man have a genius for painting, poetry, music, architecture, or philosophy, he makes a bad husband and an ill provider. 
Author: Ralph Waldo Emerson
Nationality: American
b. 25 May 1803  - d. 27 April 1882
  
 Beauty. The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband. 
Author: Ambrose Bierce
Nationality: American
b. 24 June 1842  - d.  December 1914
  
 Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love, though I'd stepped in it a few times. 
Author: Rita Rudner
Nationality: American
b. 17 September 1956
  
 Better an old maid, than married to a bad husband. 
Author: Anonymous
Nationality: American   
 Better to remain single, than undress a drunken husband. 
Author: Anonymous
Nationality: American   
 Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.  
Author: George Burns
Nationality: American
b. 20 January 1896  - d. 9 March 1996
  
 Elle Woods: Brooke exercised. Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't kill their husbands. 
Movie: Legally Blonde
Nationality: American
Released: December 2001
  
 Changing husbands is only changing troubles. 
Author: Kathleen Thompson Norris
Nationality: American
b. 16 July 1880  - d. 18 January 1966
  
 Chaste to her husband, frank to all beside, A teeming Mistress, but a barren bride. 
Author: Alexander Pope
Nationality: English
b. 21 May 1688  - d. 30 May 1744
  
 Childless husbands and wives fall easily apart. 
Author: Herbert Hensley Henson
Nationality: English
b. December 1863  - d.  December 1947
  
 Christmas in Sydney is a time to be dreaded in this country by the sober and well inclined. Drunken husbands distress their peaceably disposed wives: and well disposed men have to lament the riotous dispositions of their mates who cannot resist the temptation which these holidays hold forth to jollity and intoxication. 
Author: Christiana Brooks
Nationality: English   
 Do not put such unlimited power into the hands of husbands. Remember all men would be tyrants if they could. 
Author: Abigail Adams
Nationality: American
b. 11 December 1744  - d. 28 October 1818
  
 Faithful women are all alike, they think only of their fidelity, never of their husbands. 
Author: Jean Giraudoux
Nationality: French
b. 29 October 1882  - d. 31 January 1944
  
 Fat generally tends to make a man a better husband. His wife is happy in the knowledge she is not married to a woman chaser. Few fat men chase girls, because they get winded too easily. 
Author: Hal Boyle
Nationality: American
b. December 1911  - d.  December 1974
  
 Girls! girls! Those of you who have hearts, and therefore a wish for happiness, homes and husbands by and by, never develop a reputation of being clever. It will put you out of the matrimonial running as effectually as though it had been circulated that you had leprosy. So, if you feel that you are afflicted with more than ordinary intelligence, and especially if you are plain with it, hide your brains, cramp your mind, study to appear unintellectual - it is your only chance. 
Author: Miles Franklin
Nationality: Australian
b. 14 October 1879  - d. 19 September 1954
  
 Her no-good husband. 
Author: Anonymous
Nationality: Australian   
 Her sorry husband. 
Author: Anonymous
Nationality: Australian   
 How many husbands have I had? You mean apart from my own? 
Author: Zsa Zsa Gabor
Nationality: Hungarian
b. 06 February 1917
  
 Husband a lie, and trump it up in some extraordinary emergency. 
Author: Joseph Addison
Nationality: English
b. 1 May 1672  - d. 17 June 1719
  
 Husband: what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted. 
Author: Helen Rowland
Nationality: American
b. December 1875  - d.  December 1950
  
 Husbands are awkward things to deal with; even keeping them in hot water will not make them tender. 
Author: Mary Buckley
Nationality: American
b. December 1889  - d.  December 1981
  
 Husbands are like fires. They go out if unattended. 
Author: Zsa Zsa Gabor
Nationality: Hungarian
b. 06 February 1917
  
 Husbands never become good; they merely become proficient. 
Author: Henry Louis Mencken
Nationality: American
b. 12 September 1880  - d. 29 January 1956
  
 I desire you would remember the ladies and be more generous and favorable to them than your ancestors. Do not put such unlimited power into the hand of the husbands. Remember, all men would be tyrants if they could. If particular care and attention is not paid to the ladies, we are determined to forment a rebellion, and will not hold ourselves bound by any laws in which we have no voice or representation... Men of sense in all ages abhor those customs which treat us only as the vassals of your sex; regard us then as being placed by Providence under your protection, and in imitation of the Supreme Being make use of that power only for our happiness. 
Author: Abigail Adams
Nationality: American
b. 11 December 1744  - d. 28 October 1818
  
 As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.  
Author: Roseanne Barr
Nationality: American
b. 3 November 1952
  
 I know not which lives more unnatural lives, Obeying husbands, or commanding wives. 
Author: Benjamin Franklin
Nationality: American
b. 17 January 1706  - d. 17 April 1790
  
 I think every woman is entitled to a middle husband she can forget. 
Author: Adela Rogers St. John
Nationality: American
b. 20 May 1894  - d. 10 August 1988
  
 I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap? 
Author: Phyllis Diller
Nationality: American
b. 17 July 1917  - d. 20 August 2012
  
 If nature had arranged that husbands and wives should have children alternatively, there would never be more than three in a family. 
Author: Laurence Housman
Nationality: English
b. 18 July 1865  - d. 20 February 1959
  
 It is a pity, as my husband says, that more politicians are not bastards by birth instead of vocation. 
Author: Katharine Elizabeth Whitehorn
Nationality: British
b. December 1928
  
 It is easier to be a lover than a husband for the simple reason that it is more difficult to be witty every day than to say witty things from time to time. 
Author: Honoré de Balzac
Nationality: French
b. 20 May 1799  - d. 18 August 1850
  
 It is really asking too much of a woman to expect her to bring up her husband and her children too. 
Author: Lillian Bell
Nationality: French   
 Lady Nancy Astor: Winston, if you were my husband, I'd put arsenic in your morning coffee. Churchill: Madam, if you were my wife, I'd drink it. 
Author: Sir Winston Churchill
Nationality: British
b. 30 November 1874  - d. 14 January 1965
  
 Maids want nothing but husbands, and when they have them, they want everything. 
Author: William Shakespeare
Nationality: English
b. December 1564  - d. 23 April 1616
  
 Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly understood that they are on the same side. 
Author: Zig Ziglar
Nationality: American
b. 6 November 1926
  
 My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact. 
Author: Roseanne Barr
Nationality: American
b. 3 November 1952
  
 My husband said he wanted to have a relationship with a redhead, so I dyed my hair. 
Author: Jane Fonda
Nationality: American
b. 21 December 1937
  
 My husband will never chase another woman. He's too fine, too decent, too old. 
Author: Gracie Allen
Nationality: American
b. 26 July 1895  - d. 27 August 1964
  
 Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near. 
Author: Helen Rowland
Nationality: American
b. December 1875  - d.  December 1950
  
 No jealousy their dawn of love overcast, Nor blasted were their wedded days with strife; Each season looked delightful as it past, To the fond husband and the faithful wife. 
Author: James Beattie
Nationality: Scottish
b. 25 October 1735  - d. 18 August 1803
  
 Not louder shrieks to pitying heav'n are cast, When husbands or when lap-dogs breathe their last. 
Author: Alexander Pope
Nationality: English
b. 21 May 1688  - d. 30 May 1744
  
 Of course I don't always enjoy being a mother. At those times my husband and I hole up somewhere in the wine country, eat, drink, make mad love and pretend we were born sterile and raise poodles. 
Author: Dorothy De Bolt
Nationality: English   
 Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands... but English women only hope to find in their butlers. 
Author: W. Somerset Maugham
Nationality: English
b. 25 January 1874  - d. 16 December 1965
  
 Personally I incline to think that wherever a situation emerges in which the cohabitation of the husband and wife cannot reasonably or equitably be required, there a prima facie case for divorce must be held to exist. Before one could rightly order these folk to go apart, we must be well assured that they are not in spiritual fact married. In the region of essential morals we cannot stake everything on the presence or absence of the legal certificate. 
Author: Herbert Hensley Henson
Nationality: English
b. December 1863  - d.  December 1947
  
 Plain women are always jealous of their husbands. Beautiful women never are. They are always so occupied with being jealous of other women's husbands. 
Author: Oscar Wilde
Nationality: English
b. 16 October 1854  - d. 30 November 1900
  
 Some girls never know what they are going to do from one husband to another. 
Author: Thomas Lansing Masson
Nationality: American
b. December 1866
  
 Such duty as the subject owes the prince, Even such a woman oweth to her husband. 
Author: William Shakespeare
Nationality: English
b. December 1564  - d. 23 April 1616
  
 The best way to get husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they are too old to do it. 
Author: Shirley MacLaine
Nationality: American
b. 24 April 1934
  
 The calmest husbands make the stormiest wives. 
Author: Thomas Dekker
Nationality: English
b. December 1572  - d.  December 1632
  
 The First Lady is an unpaid public servant elected by one person - her husband. 
Author: Lady Bird Johnson
Nationality: American
b. December 1912
  
 The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. 
Author: Groucho Marx
Nationality: American
b. 2 October 1890  - d. 19 July 1977
  
 The laws that Charondas gave to Catana,... A man might divorce his wife, or a wife her husband, said Charondas, but then he or she must not marry anyone younger than the divorced mate. 
Author: Will Durant
Nationality: American
b. 05 November 1885  - d. 07 November 1981
  
 The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin. 
Author: Honoré de Balzac
Nationality: French
b. 20 May 1799  - d. 18 August 1850
  
 The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married. 
Author: Finley Peter Dunne
Nationality: American
b. 10 July 1867  - d. 24 April 1936
  
 The road to success is filled with women pushing their husbands along. 
Author: Lord Thomas Dewar
Nationality: British
b. December 1864  - d.  December 1930
  
 The way to hold a husband is to keep him a little jealous; the way to lose him is to keep him a little more jealous. 
Author: Henry Louis Mencken
Nationality: American
b. 12 September 1880  - d. 29 January 1956
  
 There are few women so perfect that their husbands do not regret having married them at least once a day. 
Author: Jean de la Bruyère
Nationality: French
b. 16 August 1645  - d. 10 May 1696
  
 There is only one man in America that has to keep his pants up, and that's my husband. Other than that, I don't want to know about it. I really don't. I find it really unappetizing. It's nobody's business. 
Author: Marlo Thomas
Nationality: American
b. 21 November 1937
  
 To catch a husband is an art; to hold him is a job. 
Author: Simone de Beauvoir
Nationality: French
b. 9 January 1908  - d. 14 April 1986
  
 To fight bulls or catch husbands, you've got to get closer. 
Author: Anonymous
Nationality: French   
 Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name. 
Author: Joan Rivers
Nationality: American
b. 8 June 1933
  
 Wealth: Any income that is at least one hundred dollars more a year than the income of one's wife's sister's husband. 
Author: Henry Louis Mencken
Nationality: American
b. 12 September 1880  - d. 29 January 1956
  
 When a husband and wife have got each other, the devil only knows which has got the other. 
Author: Honoré de Balzac
Nationality: French
b. 20 May 1799  - d. 18 August 1850
  
 When a woman marries again, it is because she detested her first husband. When a man marries again, it is because he adored his first wife. Women try their luck; men risk theirs. 
Author: Oscar Wilde
Nationality: English
b. 16 October 1854  - d. 30 November 1900
  
 When you go to drown yourself, always take off your clothes, they may fit your wife's next husband. 
Author: Gregory Nunn
Nationality: American
b. December 1955
  
 Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage, they are giving evidence at an inquest. 
Author: Henry Louis Mencken
Nationality: American
b. 12 September 1880  - d. 29 January 1956
  
 Women's liberationists spread the word that... the only peaceful family is one in which either the wife is enslaved or the husband is androgynous. 
Author: R. Emmett Tyell
Nationality: American   
 I know of no pursuit in which more real and important services can be rendered to any country than by improving its agriculture, its breed of useful animals, and other branches of a husbandman's cares. 
Author: George Washington
Nationality: American
b. 22 February 1732  - d. 14 December 1799
  
 Harpo, she's a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Marry her before she finds one. 
Author: Harpo Marx
Nationality: American
b. December 1888  - d.  December 1964
  
 There is so little difference between husbands you might as well keep the first. 
Author: Adela Rogers St. John
Nationality: American
b. 20 May 1894  - d. 10 August 1988
  
 Make women rational creatures, and free citizens, and they will quickly become good wives; - that is, if men do not neglect the duties of husbands and fathers. 
Author: Mary Wollstonecraft
Nationality: British
b. 27 April 1759  - d. 10 September 1797
  
 The divine right of husbands, like the divine right of kings, may, it is hoped, in this enlightened age, be contested without danger. 
Author: Mary Wollstonecraft
Nationality: British
b. 27 April 1759  - d. 10 September 1797
  
 The real act of marriage takes place in the heart, not in the ballroom or church or synagogue. It's a choice you make - not just on your wedding day, but over and over again - and that choice is reflected in the way you treat your husband or wife. 
Author: Barbara de Angelis
Nationality: American   
 I wrote a song called walls with my husband, Louis Nelson, who designed the new Korean Veteran's Memorial Wall on the Mall in Washington, D.C. 
Author: Judy Collins
Nationality: American
b. December 1939
  
 The powerful men in my life have always believed in me: my husband, my son. 
Author: Judy Collins
Nationality: American
b. December 1939
  
 I've never written about my husband, Steve, or any of my children because I know them all too well. I see them in all their complexities which makes them impossible to render on the printed page. 
Author: Sue Grafton
Nationality: American
b. 24 April 1940
  
 The faults of husbands are often caused by the excess virtues of their wives. 
Author: Colette
Nationality: French
b. 28 January 1873  - d. 03 August 1954
  
 The doctor told Phil, my then husband, that my condition was really bad news. They had found an artery tearing and said I could die. They said they could try to patch it up but it could go horribly wrong. It all turned out okay in the end but it was touch and go. 
Author: Sharon Stone
Nationality: American
b. 10 March 1958
  
 A husband is what's left of a sweetheart after the nerve has been killed. 
Author: Anonymous
Nationality: American   
 Sometimes I think my husband is so amazing that I don't know why he's with me. I don't know whether I'm good enough. But if I make him happy, then I'm everything I want to be. 
Author: Angelina Jolie
Nationality: American
b. 4 June 1975
  
 Yeah, but before anything, I think in 6 years somehow I've grown up to have a beautiful home, 2 beautiful stepchildren, a beautiful husband, my family is healthy and happy. I'm financially ok and I do what I love for a living. That's what I think, and I think god, how did I get so lucky. 
Author: Angelina Jolie
Nationality: American
b. 4 June 1975
  
 From you dear husband, I would have no secrets. You have made me feel that you could not take much interest in my spiritual experience. 
Author: Julia Ward Howe
Nationality: American
b. 27 May 1819  - d. 17 October 1910
  
 My children are babies and my husband has scarcely half an hour in 24 to give me. 
Author: Julia Ward Howe
Nationality: American
b. 27 May 1819  - d. 17 October 1910
  
 My husband was himself averse to public appearances. 
Author: Julia Ward Howe
Nationality: American
b. 27 May 1819  - d. 17 October 1910
  
 Women desire six things: They want their husbands to be brave, wise, rich, generous, obedient to wife, and lively in bed. 
Author: Geoffrey Chaucer
Nationality: English
b. December 1343  - d. 25 October 1400
  
 The husband and wife are one, and that one is the husband. 
Author: Sir William Blackstone
Nationality: English
b. 10 July 1723  - d. 14 February 1780
  
 When a man and a woman have an overwhelming passion for each other, it seems to me, in spite of such obstacles dividing them as parents or husband, that they belong to each other in the name of Nature, and are lovers by Divine right, in spite of human convention or the laws. 
Author: Nicolas Chamfort
Nationality: French
b. 6 April 1741  - d. 13 April 1794
  
 It is better to have a prosaic husband and to take a romantic lover. 
Author: Marie Stendhal
Nationality: French
b. 23 January 1783  - d. 23 March 1842
  
 It is with blows dealt by public contempt that a husband kills his wife in the nineteenth century; it is by shutting the doors of all the drawing-rooms in her face. 
Author: Marie Stendhal
Nationality: French
b. 23 January 1783  - d. 23 March 1842
  
 A man is at the bar, drunk. I pick him up off the floor, and offer to take him home. On the way to my car, he falls down three times. When I get to his house, I help him out of the car, and on the way to the front door, he falls down four more times. I ring the bell and say, "Here's your husband!" The man's wife says, "Where's his wheelchair?" 
Author: Henny Youngman
Nationality: American
b. 16 March 1906  - d. 24 February 1998
  
 I don't sit around thinking that I'd like to have another husband; only another man would make me think that way. 
Author: Lauren Bacall
Nationality: American
b. 16 September 1924
  
 Vadim was both my teacher and my husband. I placed myself entirely in his hands. 
Author: Brigitte Anne-Marie Bardot
Nationality: French
b. 28 September 1934
  
 For any state to make sex a qualification that must ever result in the disfranchisement of one entire half of the people, is to pass a bill of attainder, or, an ex post facto law, and is therefore a violation of the supreme law of the land. By it the blessings of liberty are forever withheld from women and their female posterity. To them this government has no just powers derived from the consent of the governed. To them this government is not a democracy. It is not a republic. It is an odious aristocracy; a hateful oligarchy of sex; the most hateful aristocracy ever established on the face of the globe; an oligarchy of wealth, where the rich govern the poor. An oligarchy of learning, where the educated govern the ignorant, or even an oligarchy of race, where the Saxon rules the African, might be endured; but this oligarchy of sex, which makes father, brothers, husband, sons, the oligarchs over the mother and sisters, the wife and daughters, of every household - which ordains all men sovereigns, all women subjects, carries dissension, discord, and rebellion into every home of the nation. 
Author: Susan B. Anthony
Nationality: American
b. 15 February 1820  - d. 13 March 1906
  
 With her high pale brow under her faded brown hair, she was like a rock washed clean by years of her husband's absences at conventions, dinners, committee meetings or simply at the office. 
Author: Louis Stanton Auchincloss
Nationality: American
b. 27 September 1917
  
 On marriage to Jonny Lee Miller: It comes down to timing. I think he's the greatest husband a girl could ask for. I'll always love him, we were simply too young. 
Author: Angelina Jolie
Nationality: American
b. 4 June 1975
  
 Children are supposed to help hold a marriage together. They do this in a number of ways. For instance, they demand so much attention that a husband and wife, concentrating on their children, fail to notice each other's faults. 
Author: Richard Armour
Nationality: American
b. December 1906  - d.  December 1989
  
 I couldn't stand that my husband was being unfaithful. I am Raquel Welch - understand? 
Author: Raquel Welch
Nationality: American
b. 5 September 1940
  
 Mrs Morel always said the after-life would hold nothing in store for her husband: he rose from the lower world into purgatory, when he came home from pit, and passed into heaven in the Palmerston Arms 
Author: D. H. Lawrence
Nationality: English
b. 11 September 1885  - d. 2 March 1930
  
 For the German woman her "world is her husband, her family, her children, and her home.' 
Author: Adolf Hitler
Nationality: German
b. 20 April 1889  - d. 30 April 1945
  
 I think that's going to be an issue: Whether or not voters are going to get more of the same in a Clinton candidacy or whether she really is something unique and has something to offer apart from her husband. 
Author: Barbara Olson
Nationality: American
b. 27 December 1955  - d. 11 September 2001
  
 Personally, I don't like a girlfriend to have a husband. If she'll fool her husband, I figure she'll fool me. 
Author: Orson Welles
Nationality: American
b. 6 May 1915  - d. 10 October 1985
  
 Watching your husband become a father is really sexy and wonderful. 
Author: Cindy Crawford
Nationality: American
b. 20 February 1966
  
 I sent my flowers across the hall to Mrs Nixon but her husband remembered what a Democrat I am and sent them back. 
Author: Bette Davis
Nationality: American
b. 5 April 1908  - d. 6 August 1989
  
 A good husband is never the first to go to sleep at night or the last to awake in the morning 
Author: Honoré de Balzac
Nationality: French
b. 20 May 1799  - d. 18 August 1850
  
 A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. 
Author: Honoré de Balzac
Nationality: French
b. 20 May 1799  - d. 18 August 1850
  
 A husband who submits to his wife's yoke is justly held an object of ridicule. A woman's influence ought to be entirely concealed. 
Author: Honoré de Balzac
Nationality: French
b. 20 May 1799  - d. 18 August 1850
  
 A lover always thinks of his mistress first and himself second; with a husband it runs the other way. 
Author: Honoré de Balzac
Nationality: French
b. 20 May 1799  - d. 18 August 1850
  
 Between the daylight gambler and the player at night there is the same difference that lies between a careless husband and the lover swooning under his lady's window. 
Author: Honoré de Balzac
Nationality: French
b. 20 May 1799  - d. 18 August 1850
  
 The man as he converses is the lover; silent, he is the husband. 
Author: Honoré de Balzac
Nationality: French
b. 20 May 1799  - d. 18 August 1850
  
 Many men hoard for the future husbands of their wives. 
Author: Solomon Ibn Gabirol
Nationality: Spanish
b. December 1021  - d.  December 1058
  
 I have ever thought no bereavement was equal to that of a husband's or a wife's, but I feel it difficult to believe that any can be greater, or any one's sorrow greater, than mine. 
Author: Cardinal John Henry Newman
Nationality: English
b. 21 February 1801  - d. 11 August 1890
  
 At first I was surprised that anyone should think that I would want to run for office, or that I was fitted to hold office. Then I realized that some people felt that I must have learned something from my husband in all the years that he was in public life! They also knew that I had stressed the fact that women should accept responsibility as citizens. I heard that I was being offered the nomination for governor or for the United States Senate in my own state, and even for Vice President. And some particularly humorous souls wrote in and suggested that I run as the first woman President of the United States! The simple truth is that I have had my fill of public life of the more or less stereotyped kind. 
Author: Eleanor Roosevelt
Nationality: American
b. 10 October 1884  - d. 7 November 1962
  
 An easy-going husband is the one indispensable comfort of life. 
Author: Ouida
Nationality: English
b. 1 January 1839  - d. 25 January 1908
  
 A house does not need a wife any more than it needs a husband. 
Author: Charlotte Perkins
Nationality: American
b. 3 July 1860  - d. 17 August 1935
  
 I wouldn't keep him around long if I didn't feed him well. 
Author: Julia Child
Nationality: American
b. 15 August 1912  - d. 13 August 2004
  
 American husbands are the best in the world; no other husbands are so generous to their wives, or can be so easily divorced. 
Author: Elinor Glyn
Nationality: British
b. 17 October 1864  - d. 23 September 1943
  
 Husbands are like fires - they go out when they're left unattended. 
Author: Cher
Nationality: American
b. 20 May 1946
  
 I'm still friends with all my exes, apart from my husbands. 
Author: Cher
Nationality: American
b. 20 May 1946
  
 Husbands are chiefly good as lovers when they are betraying their wives. 
Author: Marilyn Monroe
Nationality: American
b. 1 June 1926  - d. 5 August 1962
  
 The problem lay buried, unspoken for many years in the minds of American women. It was a strange stirring, a sense of dissatisfaction, a yearning that women suffered in the middle of the twentieth century in the United States. Each suburban housewife struggled with it alone. As she made the beds, shopped for groceries, matched slipcover material, ate peanut butter sandwiches with her children, chauffeured Cub Scouts and Brownies, lay beside her husband at night, she was afraid to ask even of herself the silent question: Is this all? 
Author: Betty Friedan
Nationality: American
b. 4 February 1921  - d. 4 February 2006
  
 But I now think what I was doing, in a completely unconscious way, was getting off the turf where my husband and I might be rivals. We were both working in fiction so I look back and I see that I consciously vacated the contested ground. 
Author: Helen Garner
Nationality: Australian
b. 7 November 1942
  
 I think there's something degrading about having a husband for a rival. It's humiliating if you fail and commonplace if you succeed. 
Author: Christopher Hampton
Nationality: British
b. 26 January 1946
  
 Wherever the citizen becomes indifferent to his fellows, so will the husband be to his wife, and the father of a family toward the members of his household. 
Author: Wilhelm von Humboldt
Nationality: German
b. 22 June 1767  - d. 8 April 1835
  
 The house wife is an unpaid employee in her husband's house in return for the security of being a permanent employee. 
Author: Germaine Greer
Nationality: Australian
b. 29 January 1939
  
 CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it. 
Author: Jay Leno
Nationality: American
b. 28 April 1950
  
 The best husbands stay bachelors; they're too considerate to get married. 
Author: Finley Peter Dunne
Nationality: American
b. 10 July 1867  - d. 24 April 1936
  
 A little in drink, but at all times your faithful husband. 
Author: Sir Richard Steele
Nationality: Irish
b. 12 March 1672  - d. 1 September 1729
  
 I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to make it interesting. 
Author: Milton Berle
Nationality: American
b. 12 July 1908  - d. 27 March 2002
  
 A true king is neither husband nor father; he considers his throne and nothing else. 
Author: Pierre Corneille
Nationality: French
b. 6 June 1606  - d. 1 October 1684
  
 Democracy gives the beatification of mediocrity a certain appearance of objective and demonstrable truth. The mob man, functioning as citizen, gets a feeling that he is really important to the world - that he is genuinely running things. Out of his maudlin herding after rogues and mountebanks there comes to him a sense of vast and mysterious power- which is what makes archbishops, police sergeants, the grand goblins of the Ku Klux and other such magnificoes happy. And out of it there comes, too, a conviction that he is somehow wise, that his views are taken seriously by his betters - which is what makes United States Senators, fortune tellers and Young Intellectuals happy. Finally, there comes out of it a glowing consciousness of a high duty triumphantly done which is what makes hangmen and husbands happy. 
Author: Henry Louis Mencken
Nationality: American
b. 12 September 1880  - d. 29 January 1956
  
 A sensible woman should be guided by her head when taking a husband, and by her heart when taking a lover. 
Author: Ninon de l'Enclos
Nationality: French
b. 10 November 1620  - d. 17 October 1705
  
 My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to. 
Author: Rita Rudner
Nationality: American
b. 17 September 1956
  
 My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head. 
Author: Rita Rudner
Nationality: American
b. 17 September 1956
  
 My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. 
Author: Rita Rudner
Nationality: American
b. 17 September 1956
  
 My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping. 
Author: Rita Rudner
Nationality: American
b. 17 September 1956
  
 When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always. 
Author: Rita Rudner
Nationality: American
b. 17 September 1956
  
 Hugh Laurie: So lets talk instead about flexibility of language - erm, linguistic elasticity, if you'd like. Stephen Fry:: Yes, I think that I've said earlier that our language, English - L: As spoken by us. F: As we speak it, yes, certainly-, defines it. We are defined by our language, if you will. L (to screen): Hello. We're talking about language. F: Perhaps I can illustrate my point. Let me at least try. Here is a question: (hun...) L: What is it? F: Oh! Hun...my question is this: is our language - English - capable... is English capable of sustaining demagoguery? L: Demagoguery? F: Demagoguery. L: And by "demagoguery" you mean... F: By "demagoguery" I mean demagoguery... L: I thought so. F: I mean highly charged oratory persuasive whipping-up rhetoric. Listen to me, listen to me. If Hitler had been British, would we, under similar circumstances, have been moved, charged up, fired up by his inflammatory speeches or would we simply have laughed? Is English too ironic to sustain Hitlerian styles? Would his language simply have rung false in our ears? L (to screen): We are talking about things ringing false in our ears. F: May I compartmentalize - I hate to, but may I, may I: is our language a function of our British cynicism, tolerance, resistance to false emotion, humour and so on, or do those qualities come extrinsically - extrinsically] - from the language itself? It's a chicken and egg problem. L (to screen): We're talking about chickens, we're talking about eggs. F: Hun...let me start a leveret here: There's language and there's speech. Erm, there's chess and there's a game of chess. Mark the difference for me. Mark it please. L (to screen): We've moved on to chess. F: Imagine a piano keyboard, eh, 88 keys, only 88 and yet, and yet, hundreds of new melodies, new tunes, new harmonies are being composed by hundreds of different keyboards every day in Dorset alone. Our language, tiger, our language: hundreds of thousands of available words, trillions of legitimate new ideas, so that I can say the following sentence and be utterly sure that nobody has ever said it before in the history of human communication: "Hold the newsreader's nose squarely, waiter, or friendly milk will countermand my trousers." Perfectly ordinary words, but never before put in that precise order. A unique child delivered of a unique mother. L (to screen): ... F: And yet, oh, and yet, we, all of us, spend all our days saying to each other the same things time after weary time: "I love you", "Don't go in there", "Get out", "You have no right to say that", "Stop it, "Why should I", "That hurt", "Help", "Marjorie is dead". Hmn?. Surely, it's a thought to take out for cream tea on a rainy Sunday afternoon. L: So, to you, language is more than just a means of communication? F: Oh, of course it is, of course it is, of course it is, of course it is. Language is my mother, my father, my husband, my brother, my sister, my whore, my mistress, my check-out girl... language is a complimentary moist lemon-scented cleansing square or handy freshen-up wipette. Language is the breath of God. Language is the dew on a fresh apple, it's the soft rain of dust that falls into a shaft of morning light as you pluck from a old bookshelf a half-forgotten book of erotic memoirs. Language is the creak on a stair, it's a spluttering match held to a frosted pane, it's a half-remembered childhood birthday party, it's the warm, wet, trusting touch of a leaking nappy, the hulk of a charred Panzer, the underside of a granite boulder, the first downy growth on the upper lip of a Mediterranean girl. It's cobwebs long since overrun by an old Wellington boot. L (to screen): Night-night. 
T.V. Series: Fry and Laurie
Nationality: British   
 Stephen Fry: Well, I was born Mary Patterson, but then I married and naturally took my husband's name, so now I'm Neil Patterson. 
T.V. Series: Fry and Laurie
Nationality: British   
 I find that balancing my life with my work with the kids at St. Jude, working on books, working on my career as an actor and taking time out for my husband and family help to cushion a lot of the blows. 
Author: Marlo Thomas
Nationality: American
b. 21 November 1937
  
 The night of our honeymoon my husband took one look and said, 'Is that all for me?'. 
Author: Dolly Parton
Nationality: American
b. 19 January 1946
  
 Americans, indeed, often seem to be so overwhelmed by their children that they'll do anything for them except stay married to the co-producer. 
Author: Katharine Elizabeth Whitehorn
Nationality: British
b. December 1928
  
 Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife. 
Author: Groucho Marx
Nationality: American
b. 2 October 1890  - d. 19 July 1977
  
 Not like Gehazi, i.e., dead white, like a leper Not like Lot's wife, all salt Not like Argus, full of eyes Not like Tom Piper, 'hoven and puffed' Not like Crispin, leathery Not like Lazarus, poor Not like Esau, hairy Not like Mary Magdalene, full of whey or maudlin Not like the Gentiles, full of maggots Not like a Bishop, made of burnt milk. 
Author: Thomas Tusser
Nationality: English
b. December 1524  - d.  December 1580
  
 Dry sun, dry wind; Safe bind, safe find. 
Author: Thomas Tusser
Nationality: English
b. December 1524  - d.  December 1580
  
 To death we must stoop, be we high, be we low, But how and how suddenly few be that know -, What carry we then but a sheet to the grave, To cover this carcass, of all that we have?" 
Author: Thomas Tusser
Nationality: English
b. December 1524  - d.  December 1580
  
 Widows tend either to fade away when husbands die, committing emotional suttee, or else find that a new life burgeons. Here in Christchurch, a lot of burgeoning goes on. 
Author: Fay Weldon
Nationality: English
b. 22 September 1931
  
 None of us knows what the next change is going to be, what unexpected opportunity is just around the corner, waiting a few months or a few years to change all the tenor of our lives. 
Author: Kathleen Thompson Norris
Nationality: American
b. 16 July 1880  - d. 18 January 1966
  
 Changing husbands is only changing troubles. 
Author: Kathleen Thompson Norris
Nationality: American
b. 16 July 1880  - d. 18 January 1966
  




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