Sex Abuse Quotes

 We know child sexual abuse remains a huge problem in Irish society; it is time we acted courageously to stop it. Five per cent of all Irish children who are sexually abused are harmed by clerics. However, 75 per cent of children who are sexually abused are violated by members of their own family, or by trusted adults known to them in their daily lives. Facing this is our real challenge now. Although it does not sit easily with our Irish self-image, sexual abuse of children is highly prevalent in this country. 
Author: Maeve Lewis
Nationality: Irish   
 AT THE turn of the century, Irish people were shaken by revelations of clerical sexual abuse. It has been very difficult for us to accept that Roman Catholic priests and religious were responsible for harming thousands of children across the country. It has been even more difficult to accept that the church authorities had in many cases known of the abuse, and had acted to protect the institutional church rather than vulnerable children. 
Author: Maeve Lewis
Nationality: Irish   
 The Sexual Abuse and Violence in Ireland (SAVI) Report (2002) showed that 23 per cent of Irish men and 30 per cent of Irish women had unwanted sexual experiences in childhood. Naturally, we want to recoil from these harsh statistics, but what they actually mean is that each one of us must know somebody in our intimate circle who was sexually abused as a child. 
Author: Maeve Lewis
Nationality: Irish   
 The costs of sexual abuse are very high. Typically, people suffer years of distress before they seek help. Survivors of sexual abuse have a high incidence of depression and anxiety. Many develop an addiction in an attempt to cope with overwhelming anguish. Had they received help as children, the devastating impact of sexual abuse on their lives could have been avoided. 
Author: Maeve Lewis
Nationality: Irish   
 And the children of today? The truth is that we do not know. The effects of sexual abuse are such that children are shamed and silenced, and most victims do not disclose their experiences until they reach adulthood. 
Author: Maeve Lewis
Nationality: Irish   
 Adult survivors routinely tell of the difficulties in attempting to report historic abuse to overstretched HSE staff. If sexual abuse is disclosed within the family, little is available to support families to deal with the enormous fallout. Where psychotherapy is available to adult survivors, the outcomes are very good, and lives can be transformed. But waiting lists for affordable services are lengthy. 
Author: Maeve Lewis
Nationality: Irish   
 While the Garda has greatly improved its response to people reporting sexual violence, the court system is still experienced by victims as intimidating and traumatising. The unpalatable fact is that sexual offenders can be fairly certain that they will never be called upon to answer for the destruction they have caused. People are repulsed by sexual offenders and want to see them punished. The reality is that a prison sentence on its own does not protect children, as the likelihood of re-offending on release is very high. On the other hand, research shows that effective treatment programmes reduce the recidivism rate to one to two per cent. Until we provide rigorous but compassionate treatment for offenders, the cycle of abuse will continue. Mandatory treatment programmes must be introduced into our prisons, and services for sexual offenders should be available in every town in Ireland. 
Author: Maeve Lewis
Nationality: Irish   
 Our child sexual abuse services are a generation behind the UK, Australian and Canadian systems. To develop our system to international standards demands nothing less than an integrated national response. We must have a public awareness and prevention campaign, accessible interventions for children and their families, and psychotherapy for the devastated children who are now adults. We must also provide treatment and support for sexual offenders if their behaviour is to change. And we must address our archaic court system which currently deters victims from seeking redress. This requires political will and the provision of adequate resources, difficult though that may be in the current climate. It also demands that all government departments, statutory agencies and charities working in the field collaborate and co-operate with each other. 
Author: Maeve Lewis
Nationality: Irish   
 After two decades of public inquiries, and thousands of published recommendations, we are all aware of the extent of the sexual abuse of children in Ireland, and of the failures in our response. The crucial question is why, as a society, we continue to choose not to act? We can never again pretend that we did not know what was happening. It is time that we faced reality and dealt boldly and courageously with this open secret at the heart of Irish society. Then childhood sexual abuse could truly become a thing of the past. 
Author: Maeve Lewis
Nationality: Irish   
 Is it not more appropriate that we designate that Sunday as a day of atonement. 
Author: Father Iggy O'Donovan
Nationality: Irish   
 I remember how the crowd was worked up to a near hysteria by the two cheer-leaders on that day, Fr Michael Cleary and Bishop Eamon Casey. It was all an illusion. Even then we were a sick and rusty Church desperately needing reform. That did not happen and now we face the new reality of the Ryan report, the Dublin investigation and heaven alone knows what else. The day of atonement may not do much for the victims but it might be a small step in the right direction. 
Author: Father Iggy O'Donovan
Nationality: Irish   
 We passed a slave woman shot or stabbed through the body and lying on the path. Onlookers said an Arab who passed early that morning had done it in anger at losing the price he had given for her, because she was unable to walk any longer. 
Author: Dr. David Livingstone
Nationality: Scottish
b. 19 March 1813  - d. 01 May 1873
  
 In a lot of religions in this world, gays and lesbians are not accepted… from my point of view, and I would say from a Buddhist point of view, gay and lesbian are welcome in my world. I’m happy to see how they love and take responsibility for each other and for their family. 
Author: Yangsi Kalu Rinpoche
Nationality: Scottish
b. 17 September 1990
  
 Buddha never said to be gay is not good; to be lesbian is not good. 
Author: Yangsi Kalu Rinpoche
Nationality: Scottish
b. 17 September 1990
  
 Buddha only cares about your happiness. God only cares for your happiness. If they do not care about your happiness, what are they talking about? What is their point? 
Author: Yangsi Kalu Rinpoche
Nationality: Scottish
b. 17 September 1990
  
 So don’t be sad, don’t be unhappy if you are gay or lesbian. 
Author: Yangsi Kalu Rinpoche
Nationality: Scottish
b. 17 September 1990
  
 In a relationship, it is appreciation of the other that is most important. This is the quality that will bring you happiness… whether you are heterosexual, gay or lesbian. 
Author: Yangsi Kalu Rinpoche
Nationality: Scottish
b. 17 September 1990
  
 In some relationships love comes first, deep appreciation comes later; in others appreciation comes first and love comes later. It doesn’t matter as long as you are happy in yourself and happy in your relationship. 
Author: Yangsi Kalu Rinpoche
Nationality: Scottish
b. 17 September 1990
  
 From outside everything looks very beautiful. But looking behind the glossy cover of the magazine, the reality is quite different. I really feel that a lot needs to be changed: Young children are mainly brought to the monastery to become monks because of their families’ financial difficulty. This is not the choice of the children . 
Author: Yangsi Kalu Rinpoche
Nationality: Scottish
b. 17 September 1990
  
 Then they receive a religious education but not a regular education. This means that when the children grow up, if they decide to leave the monastery they have no way to live a good life. I have close friends who left the monastery when they became 19 or 20 yrs old, and now they are washing dishes in a restaurant or driving taxi. Since they have no training or education for living in the world, they will have a very difficult time to have a full and happy life. This breaks my heart. 
Author: Yangsi Kalu Rinpoche
Nationality: Scottish
b. 17 September 1990
  
 Also I see the young monks learning about Dharma without having any direct experience of life; nor without the expericnce of Dharma in life. For example, I learned, as many young monks learn, that samsara lies outside the walls of the monastery; that those who are in relationship, those who are married, those who work and are fully engaged in life are in samsara while those of us in the monastery are not in samsara. We are educated with this kind of pride, this kind of prejudice. Some of these monks then go into retreat and come out as Lamas. They are invited to the west to live and teach in a Buddhist center. And when they arrive, they discover that “Samsara is Beautiful”. They then want to experience everything that life has to offer, and too often get involved in dharma business, and abusing and taking advantage of innocent people. Too often they use the Dharma to cover up and justify their personal behavior. 
Author: Yangsi Kalu Rinpoche
Nationality: Scottish
b. 17 September 1990
  
 Another person might grow up outside the monastery, receive a regular education, and experience the joys and difficulties of life. And then having really understood that samsara is our own state of mind and our own attachment, decide to enter the monastery and follow a spiritual path. This to me is a much better approach. 
Author: Yangsi Kalu Rinpoche
Nationality: Scottish
b. 17 September 1990
  
 So my idea is to create a school for children whose families have financial difficulty. The children will receive both normal and religious training. Then when the children reach 19 or 20 years of age, they can freely decide if they want to leave and have a personal life with work and family which they can do in a good way, with full appreciation of Dharma in their lives; if they want to join the school and education system, they will be welcome; and if they want to enter the monastery and follow a spiritual path they will do so fully and completely as their own decision. 
Author: Yangsi Kalu Rinpoche
Nationality: Scottish
b. 17 September 1990
  
 For me the point of Dharma is to give us freedom and possibilities. Currently the system does not do that. I hope that this new approach will do so in my monasteries and Dharma communities. This is my vision. And I am determined to make it happen. 
Author: Yangsi Kalu Rinpoche
Nationality: Scottish
b. 17 September 1990
  
 But it has an even deeper lesson to teach us: the problems inherent to a spiritual philosophy that dehumanizes us. When we believe in supernatural realities to the extent that some young kid is somehow considered to be the reincarnation of a “Supremely Wise Being” we have essentially erased the person, the human being, behind all of our idealizations. Critiquing the corruptive power of such spiritual idealization is an oft cited and very relevant observation to make - which definitely applies to the monks who abused Kalu - but Kalu’s story is more than that. It is the story of a young man who is and was being crushed beneath the cultural and religio-political burdens of the Tibetan Buddhist tradition. He is definitely a remarkable young man. Very few human beings are subjected to such a powerful machine of personal erasure as the Tulku tradition and yet he has come out of it with his humanity, while bruised, intact. 
Author: Shyam Dodge
Nationality: Scottish
b. 31 December 1984
  
 Again, I can relate to this. As a young boy my yogic community held me in high regard and, by the time I was twenty-five, had officially declared me to be a fully enlightened being. This conferment of spiritual authority produced a revelation in me, but not the one expected. 
Author: Shyam Dodge
Nationality: Scottish
b. 31 December 1984
  
 What I saw so clearly were four things, two of which Kalu touches upon in his video: 1. We are all human beings, no one person is superhuman or has some privileged connection to a hidden domain of consciousness kept just out of the reach of other normal human beings - no matter their title or religious esteem (or cultural pedigree for that matter). 2. There are very dark politics seething beneath all forms of religious hierarchy. Kalu describes a key motivator behind this cutthroat political underbelly and the attempts on his life when he states, “and then my own manager tried to kill me… I mean my teacher. And it’s all about money, power, controlling. Because, if you can control the president you can get what you want” (min 5:03 - 5:14). Disheartening words for a spiritual tradition that promotes selflessness and compassion. The third awakening is one that Kalu barely and only briefly gestures to in his video. This elision has to do with a number of things but most importantly: he is still operating as Kalu Rinpoche, which only perpetuates the hypocrisy he has been the victim of. If this revelation has dawned upon him he has yet to put it into practice. I will describe this third awakening in the paragraph below. But here I want to say that I have profound sympathy for Kalu. He has so much personal trauma to work through, so many cultural and religio-political burdens placed on his shoulders, and - not to sound condescending - a very significant educational gap to overcome due to his monastic training (I speak from experience). He needs a lot of help and my heart goes out to him. Nonetheless, he has yet to leave the Tulku machine. I know I will get a lot of flak for saying this, but, I truly hope he does. Of course, I understand that he is living under intense social pressure, as a Tibetan. Still, that doesn’t change his very human need for help, which requires the time and appropriate space to heal. I don’t see this type of healing as forthcoming in his maintaining the role of spiritual educator, and divine incarnation, in an orthodox tradition. 3. The third observation has to do with the pernicious effects of mind-body dualism. Whether it be Tibetan Buddhism, Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras, or Christian mysticism, there is a deep and abiding disgust for the human body. This negative view of our human biology stems from a belief in the existence and superiority of the spirit. Most traditional forms of spirituality (whether Eastern or Western) are predicated upon a metaphysical identification with an invisible spirit that survives the death of the body and contains our essence. In Tibetan Buddhism this spiritual “imprint” may be devoid of “true self” but it nonetheless survives the death of the body and contains the continuity of self necessary for the demands of reincarnation. The second commonality within religious traditions is that the body is viewed as an obstacle to the evolution of the spirit. In Patanjali’s system, this problem is resolved through the abnegation of the body’s essential needs and wants, including food, sex, intimacy, and love. Both the Buddhist and yogic traditions teach us to not grieve the dead, for all things are impermanent. This speaks to not only a profound fear of death but it is also a fear of life - for it is life denying. In order to guard against death, life itself is rejected in the form of militating against the physical body via spiritual detachment. I spent years engaging in this form of metaphysical asceticism. I rejected my body, denied it sex, fasted continuously and abstained from all “impure” foods. I was starving for intimacy, for love, for the permission to grieve those cherished ones who had died (including my father). I was desperate to be human. And yet, my whole spiritual life was predicated on denying my essential humanity. This note of desperation I do hear in Kalu’s video. He implores us to take care of our families, to be human. And I applaud him for that. But I, personally, think this effort to be human demands a reinvestment in the body itself. (See Julian Walker’s excellent article that touches upon these same themes, and in greater depth) It is, in many ways, an ethical decision. In order to treat others well I must value them, not an imaginary supernatural idea of “who they truly are as invisible spiritual beings,” but as living breathing persons that I can touch and know and speak to right now with my own body and my own eyes made of flesh. This also means that I can hurt those people if I don’t invest in the value of the human body. Spiritual idealizations, such as mind-body dualism, have the tendency to not only obscure but also erase the value of the physical - for it is the physical body that invalidates and casts doubts/threatens the world of spiritual idealizations. These are the dangers engendered by losing contact with the real, the tangible, the physical, for it is the erasure of persons replacing them with concepts - which is anti-body and therefore has profound implications for our very human lives. 4. The fourth observation I made soon after being officially declared a superhuman divinity is intimately connected to this third awakening. It has to do with the implications of reinvesting in the body. It is a revisioning of spirituality and ethics. 
Author: Shyam Dodge
Nationality: Scottish
b. 31 December 1984
  
 When we understand the importance of this living breathing human body, the questions are no longer about metaphysics, but ethics. The question is no longer “what is the meaning of life?” but is much more vitally “what should I do with this life?” This kind of spirituality, which is rooted in the reality of the body, elicits an interpersonal experience we can all share in. And it therefore generates an ethic of intimacy. This re-embodiment of our common humanity, based upon the value of the body itself, is in fact an ethical practice. 
Author: Shyam Dodge
Nationality: Scottish
b. 31 December 1984
  
 By reinvesting in the body, we reinvest in our ecology, economy, and society. Understanding that all things lean into one another we can develop an ethical philosophy that has immense force. The force of this ethic is grounded in the experience of inhabiting your own skin. From there we inhabit our environment, our community, and this earth. If I invest in my body then I naturally care about the rivers and the lakes, from which I get water to live. By investing in my own body I come into greater intimacy with the bodies of others, which makes me care for the wellbeing of others as well as myself. Therefore, the ethics of this embodied life are about intimacy and the world of relationship. By this simple act, this reinvestment in my humanity, the ethical and environmental ramifications are enormous. I have in one simple philosophical shift become an environmentalist and an embodied humanist.  
Author: Shyam Dodge
Nationality: Scottish
b. 31 December 1984
  
 The fourth observation I’ve come to call embodied spirituality (see Julian Walker’s wonderful sutra on this very topic), which is a type of embodied ethics and embodied ecology. Of course, I have not originated any of these ideas but they have been the touchstones by which I have learned to heal myself from years of metaphysical asceticism. It is also why I am no longer a monk or a guru, for both “occupations” perpetuate and engender beliefs I consider to be harmful to myself and others. Hence, my weariness regarding the Tulku theocracy via belief in reincarnation and its tendency to breed the kinds of exploitation and scandal Kalu is simultaneously mired in and exposing. 
Author: Shyam Dodge
Nationality: Scottish
b. 31 December 1984
  
 It is inhuman to deny yourself the pleasures of the body and it is inhuman to deny the overwhelming precedence and value of our embodied lives. If such an embodied spirituality were to gain traction in the world, as I am advocating for, we would see less moral travesties, exploitation, and sexual abuse in the guise of religious holiness, such as the sad story of Kalu Rinpoche. I also believe that if such an embodied spirituality were to take hold it might stir a revolution in ethics, that would extend into all spheres of our religious, political, and social lives. For it is about becoming more human, not less. 
Author: Shyam Dodge
Nationality: Scottish
b. 31 December 1984
  




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