Wit Quotes

 A fine quotation is a diamond on the finger of a man of wit, and a pebble in the hand of a fool. 
Author: Joseph Roux
Nationality: French
b. December 1834  - d.  December 1886
  
 A wise man will live as much within his wit as within his income. 
Author: Earl Philip Dormer Stanhope
Nationality: English
b. 22 September 1694  - d. 24 March 1773
  
 Ah fleeting Spirit! wand'ring Fire, That long hast warm'd my tender breast, Must thou no more this Frame inspire? No more a pleasing, cheerful Guest? Whither, ah whither art thou flying! To what dark, undiscover'd Shore? Thou seem'st all trembling, shivr'ing, dying And Wit and Humour are no more! 
Author: Hadrian
Nationality: Roman
b. 24 January 76  - d. 10 July 138
  
 Any discussion of the problems of being funny in America will not make sense unless we substitute the word wit for humor. Humor inspires sympathetic good-natured laughter and is favored by the ''healing-power'' gang. Wit goes for the jugular, not the jocular, and it's the opposite of football; instead of building character, it tears it down. 
Author: Florence King
Nationality: American
b. 05 January 1936
  
 As empty vessels make the loudest sound, so they that have the least wit are the greatest babblers. 
Author: Plato
Nationality: Greek
b. December 427  - d.  December 347
  
 At twenty years of age, the will reigns; at thirty, the wit, and at forty, the judgement. 
Author: Benjamin Franklin
Nationality: American
b. 17 January 1706  - d. 17 April 1790
  
 Better a witty fool than a foolish wit. 
Author: William Shakespeare
Nationality: English
b. December 1564  - d. 23 April 1616
  
 Brevity is the soul of lingerie. 
Author: Dorothy Parker
Nationality: American
b. 22 August 1893  - d. 7 June 1967
  
 Brevity is the soul of wit. 
Author: William Shakespeare
Nationality: English
b. December 1564  - d. 23 April 1616
  
 But honest instinct comes a volunteer; Sure never to o'er-shoot, but just to hit, While still too wide or short in human wit. 
Author: Alexander Pope
Nationality: English
b. 21 May 1688  - d. 30 May 1744
  
 Come, Sleep! O sleep, the certain knot of peace, The baiting-place of wit, the balm of woe, The poor man's wealth, the prisoner's release, The indifferent judge between the high and low. 
Author: Sir Philip Sidney
Nationality: English
b. 30 November 1554  - d. 17 October 1586
  
 Conceit causes more conversation than wit. 
Author: François de La Rochefoucauld
Nationality: French
b. 15 September 1613  - d. 17 March 1680
  
 Democracy is the worst system devised by the wit of man, except for all the others. 
Author: Sir Winston Churchill
Nationality: British
b. 30 November 1874  - d. 14 January 1965
  
 Every year, back come Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants. 
Author: Dorothy Parker
Nationality: American
b. 22 August 1893  - d. 7 June 1967
  
 Good nature is more agreeable in conversation than wit and gives a certain air to the countenance which is more amiable than beauty. 
Author: Joseph Addison
Nationality: English
b. 1 May 1672  - d. 17 June 1719
  
 He who has provoked the shaft of wit, cannot complain that he smarts from it. 
Author: Dr. Johnson
Nationality: English
b. December 1709  - d.  December 1784
  
 Here lies a King that rul'd, as he thought fit The universal Monarchy of wit; Here lie two Flamens, and both those, the best, Apollo's first, at last, the true God's Priest. 
Author: Thomas Carew
Nationality: English
b. December 1595  - d. 22 March 1645
  
 His body has gone to his head. 
Author: Dorothy Parker
Nationality: American
b. 22 August 1893  - d. 7 June 1967
  
 Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit. 
Author: Aristotle
Nationality: Greek
b. December 384  - d.  December 322
  
 Humour is wit and love. 
Author: William Makepeace Thackeray
Nationality: English
b. 18 July 1811  - d. 24 December 1863
  
 I am not only witty in myself, but the cause that wit is in other men. 
Author: William Shakespeare
Nationality: English
b. December 1564  - d. 23 April 1616
  
 I have had a dream, past the wit of man to say what dream it was. 
Author: William Shakespeare
Nationality: English
b. December 1564  - d. 23 April 1616
  
 I shall ne'er be ware of mine own wit till I break my shins against it.  
Author: William Shakespeare
Nationality: English
b. December 1564  - d. 23 April 1616
  
 Impropriety is the soul of wit. 
Author: W. Somerset Maugham
Nationality: English
b. 25 January 1874  - d. 16 December 1965
  
 In all thy humours, whether grave or mellow, Thou art such a touchy, testy, pleasant fellow; Hast so much wit, and mirth, and spleen about thee, That there's no living with thee, or without thee. 
Author: Marcus Valerius Martialis
Nationality: Latin
b. December 43  - d.  December 104
  
 Insanity destroys reason, but not wit. 
Author: Nathaniel Emmons
Nationality: Latin   
 It is a sad thing when men have neither the wit to speak well, nor judgment to hold their tongues. 
Author: Jean de la Bruyère
Nationality: French
b. 16 August 1645  - d. 10 May 1696
  
 It requires a great deal of boldness and a great deal of caution to make a great fortune; and when you have got it, it requires ten times as much wit to keep it. 
Author: Mayer Rothschild
Nationality: German
b. 23 February 1744  - d. 19 September 1812
  
 It requires a surgical operation to get a joke well into a Scotch understanding. Their only idea of wit... is laughing immoderately at stated intervals. 
Author: Sydney Smith
Nationality: English
b. 3 June 1771  - d. 22 February 1845
  
 Laugh not too much; the witty man laughs least: For wit is news only to ignorance. Less at thine own things: lest in the jest Thy person share, and thy conceit advance. 
Author: George Herbert
Nationality: Welsh
b. 3 April 1593  - d. 1 March 1633
  
 Less judgement than wit, is more sail than ballast. 
Author: William Penn
Nationality: American
b. 14 October 1644  - d. 30 June 1718
  
 Literature is full of coincidences, which some love to believe are plagiarisms. There are thoughts always abroad in the air which it takes more wit to avoid than to hit upon. 
Author: Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.
Nationality: American
b. 29 August 1809  - d. 7 October 1894
  
 Lust is an enemy to the purse, a foe to the person, A canker to the mind, a corrosive to the conscience, A weakness of the wit, a besotter of the senses, And, finally, a mortal bane to all the body. 
Author: Pliny the Elder
Nationality: Roman
b. December 23  - d.  December 79
  
 Man forgives woman anything save the wit to outwit him. 
Author: Minna Antrim
Nationality: American
b. December 1861
  
 Mockery is often the result of a poverty of wit. 
Author: Jean de la Bruyère
Nationality: French
b. 16 August 1645  - d. 10 May 1696
  
 No fools are so troublesome as those who have some wit. 
Author: François de La Rochefoucauld
Nationality: French
b. 15 September 1613  - d. 17 March 1680
  
 Of Manners gentle, of Affections mild; In Wit a man; Simplicity, a child. 
Author: Alexander Pope
Nationality: English
b. 21 May 1688  - d. 30 May 1744
  
 On his trial for fraud: The members of the jury looked decent, intelligent people, but hardly those I would acknowledge as my peers. My particular peer group had enough wit and guile to avoid jury service at all times. 
Author: Harry M. Miller
Nationality: Australian
b. 06 January 1934
  
 One more drink and I'll be under the host. 
Author: Dorothy Parker
Nationality: American
b. 22 August 1893  - d. 7 June 1967
  
 One science only will one genius fit, So vast is art, so narrow human wit. 
Author: Alexander Pope
Nationality: English
b. 21 May 1688  - d. 30 May 1744
  
 One should never risk a joke, even of the mildest and most unexceptional charters, except among people of culture and wit. 
Author: Jean de la Bruyère
Nationality: French
b. 16 August 1645  - d. 10 May 1696
  
 Our ability to delude ourselves may be an important survival tool. 
Author: Jane Wagner
Nationality: American
b. 2 February 1935
  
 Painting is something that takes place among the colors, and one has to leave them alone completely, so that they can settle the matter among themselves. Their intercourse: this is the whole of painting. Whoever meddles, arranges, injects his human deliberation, his wit, his advocacy, his intellectual agility in any way, is already disturbing and clouding their activity. 
Author: Rainer Maria Rilke
Nationality: Austrian
b. 4 December 1875  - d. 29 December 1926
  
 Pleased with the danger, when the waves went high He sought the storms; but for a calm unfit, Would steer too nigh the sands to boast his wit. Great wits are sure to madness near alli'd And thin partitions do their bounds divide. 
Author: John Dryden
Nationality: English
b. 19 August 1631  - d. 12 May 1700
  
 Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs. 
Author: Jane Wagner
Nationality: American
b. 2 February 1935
  
 Salary is no object: I want only enough to keep body and soul apart. 
Author: Dorothy Parker
Nationality: American
b. 22 August 1893  - d. 7 June 1967
  
 She had a pretty gift for quotation, which is a serviceable substitute for wit. 
Author: W. Somerset Maugham
Nationality: English
b. 25 January 1874  - d. 16 December 1965
  
 Silence is as full of potential wisdom and wit as the unhewn marble of great sculpture. 
Author: Aldous Huxley
Nationality: English
b. 26 July 1894  - d. 22 November 1963
  
 Silence is the wit of fools. 
Author: Jean de la Bruyère
Nationality: French
b. 16 August 1645  - d. 10 May 1696
  
 Sir Thomas More is a man of angel's wit and singular learning; I know not his fellow. For where is the man of that gentleness, lowliness and affability? And as time requireth, a man of marvelous mirth and pastimes; and sometimes of as sad a gravity; a man for all seasons. 
Author: Robert Whittinton
Nationality: French
b. December 1480  - d.  December 1530
  
 Take back the beauty and wit you bestow upon me; leave me my own mediocrity of agreeableness and genius, but leave me also my sincerity, my constancy, and my plain dealing; 'tis all I have to recommend me to the esteem either of others or myself. 
Author: Lady Mary Wortley Montagu
Nationality: English
b. 26 May 1689  - d. 21 August 1762
  
 The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant - and let the air out of their tires. 
Author: Dorothy Parker
Nationality: American
b. 22 August 1893  - d. 7 June 1967
  
 The more wit the less courage. 
Author: Thomas Fuller
Nationality: English
b. December 1608  - d. 16 August 1661
  
 The Moving Finger writes; and having writ, Moves on; nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line, Nor all your Tears wash out a Word of it. 
Author: Omar Khayyam
Nationality: Persian
b. 18 May 1048  - d. 4 December 1123
  
 The next best thing to being witty one's self, is to be able to quote another's wit. 
Author: Christian Nestell Bovee
Nationality: American
b. December 1820  - d.  December 1904
  
 The two most beautiful words in the English language are 'check enclosed.'' 
Author: Dorothy Parker
Nationality: American
b. 22 August 1893  - d. 7 June 1967
  
 The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself. 
Author: James Thurber
Nationality: American
b. 08 December 1894  - d. 02 November 1961
  
 The witty woman is a tragic figure in American life. Wit destroys eroticism and eroticism destroys wit, so women must choose between taking lovers and taking no prisoners. 
Author: Florence King
Nationality: American
b. 05 January 1936
  
 The younger brother hath the more wit. 
Author: John Ray
Nationality: English
b. 29 November 1627  - d. 17 January 1705
  
 There is a certain majesty in simplicity which is far above all the quaintness of wit. 
Author: Alexander Pope
Nationality: English
b. 21 May 1688  - d. 30 May 1744
  
 There is a significant Latin proverb; to wit: Who will guard the guards? 
Author: Josh Billings
Nationality: American
b. 20 April 1818  - d. 14 October 1885
  
 There is not less wit nor less invention in applying rightly a thought one finds in a book, than in being the first Literature of that thought. 
Author: Pierre Bayle
Nationality: French
b. 18 November 1647  - d. 28 December 1706
  
 There is one single fact which we may oppose to all the wit and argument of infidelity, namely, that no man ever repented of being a Christian on his death bed. 
Author: Hannah More
Nationality: English
b. 2 February 1745  - d. 7 September 1833
  
 There's a hell of a distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words. 
Author: Dorothy Parker
Nationality: American
b. 22 August 1893  - d. 7 June 1967
  
 This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force. 
Author: Dorothy Parker
Nationality: American
b. 22 August 1893  - d. 7 June 1967
  
 Those wanting wit affect gravity, and go by the name of solid men. 
Author: John Dryden
Nationality: English
b. 19 August 1631  - d. 12 May 1700
  
 To be witty is not enough. One must possess sufficient wit to avoid having too much of it. 
Author: Andre Maurois
Nationality: French
b. 26 July 1885  - d. 9 October 1967
  
 True Wit is nature to advantage dressed, What oft was thought, bet ne'er so well express'd. 
Author: Alexander Pope
Nationality: English
b. 21 May 1688  - d. 30 May 1744
  
 What is an epigram? A dwarfish whole, its body brevity, and wit its soul. 
Author: Samuel Taylor Coleridge
Nationality: English
b. 21 October 1772  - d. 25 July 1834
  
 When the green woods laugh with the voice of joy, And the dimpling stream runs laughing by; When the air does laugh with our merry wit, And the green hill laughs with the noise of it. 
Author: William Blake
Nationality: English
b. 28 November 1757  - d. 12 August 1827
  
 When the wine is in, the wit is out. 
Author: Anonymous
Nationality: English   
 Wit is educated insolence. 
Author: Aristotle
Nationality: Greek
b. December 384  - d.  December 322
  
 Wit is the salt of conversation, not the food. 
Author: William Hazlitt
Nationality: English
b. 10 April 1778  - d. 18 September 1830
  
 Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which, before their marriage, were not perceived to have any relationship. 
Author: Mark Twain
Nationality: American
b. 30 November 1835  - d. 21 April 1910
  
 Wit makes its own welcome, and levels all distinctions. No dignity, no learning, no force of character, can make any stand against good wit. 
Author: Ralph Waldo Emerson
Nationality: American
b. 25 May 1803  - d. 27 April 1882
  
 Wit ought to be a glorious treat like caviar; never spread it about like marmalade. 
Author: Sir Noël Coward
Nationality: English
b. 16 December 1899  - d. 26 March 1973
  
 Women, then, are only children of a larger growth: they have an entertaining tattle, and sometimes wit; but for solid, reasoning good sense, I never knew in my life one that had it, or who reasoned or acted consequentially for four and twenty hours together. 
Author: Earl Philip Dormer Stanhope
Nationality: English
b. 22 September 1694  - d. 24 March 1773
  
 Words may show a man's wit but actions his meaning. 
Author: Benjamin Franklin
Nationality: American
b. 17 January 1706  - d. 17 April 1790
  
 You can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think. 
Author: Dorothy Parker
Nationality: American
b. 22 August 1893  - d. 7 June 1967
  
 You know, that woman speaks 18 languages, and she can't say no in any of them. 
Author: Dorothy Parker
Nationality: American
b. 22 August 1893  - d. 7 June 1967
  
 Generally speaking, there is more wit than talent in the world. Society swarms with witty people who lack talent.  
Author: Antoine de Rivarol
Nationality: French
b. 26 June 1753  - d. 11 April 1801
  
 A sobering thought - what if, at this very moment, I am living up to my full potential? 
Author: Jane Wagner
Nationality: American
b. 2 February 1935
  
 Delusions of grandeur make me feel a lot better about myself. 
Author: Jane Wagner
Nationality: American
b. 2 February 1935
  
 When we talk to God, we're praying. When God talks to us, we're schizophrenic. 
Author: Jane Wagner
Nationality: American
b. 2 February 1935
  
 Raillery is a mode of speaking in favor of one's wit at the expense of one's better nature. 
Author: Charles de Secondat
Nationality: French
b. 18 January 1689  - d. 10 February 1755
  
 Wit is a weapon. Jokes are a masculine way of inflicting superiority. But humor is the pursuit of a gentle grin, usually in solitude. 
Author: Frank Muir
Nationality: British
b. 5 February 1920  - d. 2 February 1998
  
 Woman: the peg on which the wit hangs his jest, the preacher his text, the cynic his grouch and the sinner his justification. 
Author: Helen Rowland
Nationality: American
b. December 1875  - d.  December 1950
  
 Wit lasts no more than two centuriesIn love, unlike most other passions, the recollection of what you have had and lost is always better than what you can hope for in the future. 
Author: Marie Stendhal
Nationality: French
b. 23 January 1783  - d. 23 March 1842
  
 You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready. 
Author: Henny Youngman
Nationality: American
b. 16 March 1906  - d. 24 February 1998
  
 He's a fool that marries, but he's a greater that does not marry a fool; what is wit in a wife good for, but to make a man a cuckold? 
Author: William Wycherley
Nationality: English
b. December 1640  - d. 13 December 1715
  
 Wit is more necessary than beauty; and I think no young woman ugly that has it, and no handsome woman agreeable without it. 
Author: William Wycherley
Nationality: English
b. December 1640  - d. 13 December 1715
  
 I'm a singer primarily. 
Author: Boz Scaggs
Nationality: American
b. 8 June 1944
  
 Who would not give up wit for power and beauty? 
Author: Mason Cooley
Nationality: American
b. December 1927  - d. 25 July 2002
  
 I'm undaunted in my quest to amuse myself by constantly changing my hair. 
Author: Hilary Clinton
Nationality: American
b. 26 October 1947
  
 If a man's wit be wandering, let him study the mathematics. 
Author: Francis Bacon
Nationality: English
b. 22 January 1561  - d. 9 April 1626
  
 The genius, wit, and the spirit of a nation are discovered by their proverbs. 
Author: Francis Bacon
Nationality: English
b. 22 January 1561  - d. 9 April 1626
  
 Being a blockhead is sometimes the best security against being cheated by a man of wit. 
Author: François de La Rochefoucauld
Nationality: French
b. 15 September 1613  - d. 17 March 1680
  
 Confidence contributes more to conversation than wit. 
Author: François de La Rochefoucauld
Nationality: French
b. 15 September 1613  - d. 17 March 1680
  
 Assuming the same premises, to wit, that all men are equal by the law of nature and of nations, the right of property in slaves falls to the ground; for one who is equal to another cannot be the owner or property of that other 
Author: William Henry Seward
Nationality: American
b. 16 May 1801  - d. 10 October 1872
  
 [Holds someone's red tie] Oh, I thought you were bleeding. 
Author: Victor Borge
Nationality: American
b. 3 January 1909  - d. 23 December 2000
  
 Wit thou well that I will not live long after thy days. 
Author: Sir Thomas Malory
Nationality: English
b. December 1405  - d. 14 March 1471
  
 The Phoenix riddle hath more wit By us, we two being one, are it. So to one neutral thing both sexes fit, We die and rise the same, and prove Mysterious by this love. 
Author: John Donne
Nationality: English
b. 23 January 1572  - d. 31 March 1631
  
 And new philosophy calls all in doubt, The element of fire is quite put out; The sun is lost, and the earth, and no man's wit, Can well direct him where to look for it. And freely men confess that this world's spent, When in the planets, and the firmament They seek so many new; then see that this Is crumbled out again to his atomies. 'Tis all in pieces, all coherence gone; All just supply, and all relation: Prince, subject, Father, Son, are things forgot. 
Author: John Donne
Nationality: English
b. 23 January 1572  - d. 31 March 1631
  
 The well of true wit is truth itself. 
Author: George Meredith
Nationality: English
b. 12 February 1828  - d. 18 May 1909
  
 His foe was folly and his weapon wit. 
Author: Anthony Hope
Nationality: English
b. 9 February 1863  - d. 8 July 1933
  
 Unless one is a genius, it is best to aim at being intelligible. 
Author: Anthony Hope
Nationality: English
b. 9 February 1863  - d. 8 July 1933
  
 Every age has its pleasures, its style of wit, and its own ways. 
Author: Nicholas Boileau-Despréaux
Nationality: French
b. December 1636  - d.  December 1711
  
 Nothing can atone for the lack of modesty; without which beauty is ungraceful and wit detestable. 
Author: Sir Richard Steele
Nationality: Irish
b. 12 March 1672  - d. 1 September 1729
  
 Prithee don't screw your wit beyond the compass of good manners. 
Author: Colley Cibber
Nationality: British
b. 11 June 1671  - d. 12 November 1757
  
 A wit should no more be sincere, than a woman constant; one argues a decay of parts, as t'other of beauty. 
Author: William Congreve
Nationality: English
b. 24 January 1670  - d. 19 January 1729
  
 Come, come, leave business to idlers, and wisdom to fools: they have need of 'em: wit be my faculty, and pleasure my occupation, and let father Time shake his glass. 
Author: William Congreve
Nationality: English
b. 24 January 1670  - d. 19 January 1729
  
 To find a young fellow that is neither a wit in his own eye, nor a fool in the eye of the world, is a very hard task. 
Author: William Congreve
Nationality: English
b. 24 January 1670  - d. 19 January 1729
  
 Wit must be foiled by wit: cut a diamond with a diamond. 
Author: William Congreve
Nationality: English
b. 24 January 1670  - d. 19 January 1729
  
 Of my broad felt made lighter, I cast my mantle broad, And stand, poet and fighter, To do and to record. I bow, I draw my sword... En garde! With steel and wit I play you at first abord... At the last line, I hit! 
Author: Edmond Eugène Alexis Rostand
Nationality: French
b. 1 April 1868  - d. 2 December 1918
  
 A proverb is the wisdom of many and the wit of one. 
Author: Lord John Russell
Nationality: English
b. 18 August 1792  - d. 28 May 1878
  
 A black friend of morbid wit said to me, 'Doesn't O.J. know that we can f*** 'em now but we still can't kill 'em? 
Author: Carl Thomas Rowan
Nationality: American
b. 11 August 1925  - d. 23 September 2000
  
 I will go upon the rock, boys, and look abroad for the savages," said Ishmael shortly after, advancing towards them wit a mien which he intended should be conciliating, at the same time that it was authoritative. "If there is nothing to fear, we will go out on the plain; the day is too good to be lost in words, like women in the towns wrangling over their tea and sugared cakes. 
Author: James Fenimore Cooper
Nationality: American
b. 15 September 1789  - d. 14 September 1851
  
 All his beauty, wit and grace Lie forever in one place. He who sang and sprang and moved Now, in death, is only loved. 
Author: Alice Thomas Ellis
Nationality: British
b. 9 September 1932  - d. 8 March 2005
  
 I worry that our lives are like soap operas. We can go for months and not tune in to them, then six months later we look in and the same stuff is still going on. 
Author: Jane Wagner
Nationality: American
b. 2 February 1935
  
 When you're dancing the mystical dance of the molecules, you're not the one who's leading. 
Author: Jane Wagner
Nationality: American
b. 2 February 1935
  
 It's my belief we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. 
Author: Jane Wagner
Nationality: American
b. 2 February 1935
  
 All my life, I've always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific. 
Author: Jane Wagner
Nationality: American
b. 2 February 1935
  
 Reality is nothing but a collective hunch. 
Author: Jane Wagner
Nationality: American
b. 2 February 1935
  
 Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it. 
Author: Jane Wagner
Nationality: American
b. 2 February 1935
  
 If I had known what it would be like to have it all, I might have been willing to settle for less. 
Author: Jane Wagner
Nationality: American
b. 2 February 1935
  
 Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination. 
Author: Jane Wagner
Nationality: American
b. 2 February 1935
  
 No matter how cynical you become, it's never enough to keep up. 
Author: Jane Wagner
Nationality: American
b. 2 February 1935
  
 I bet the worst part about dying is the part where your whole life passes before you. 
Author: Jane Wagner
Nationality: American
b. 2 February 1935
  
 I swear people don't want sex so much as they want somebody who'll listen to 'em.The first thing you learn after fellatio is how to listen. 
Author: Jane Wagner
Nationality: American
b. 2 February 1935
  
 Remember we're all in this alone. 
Author: Jane Wagner
Nationality: American
b. 2 February 1935
  
 Don't be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed. 
Author: Jane Wagner
Nationality: American
b. 2 February 1935
  
 For fast acting relief, try slowing down. 
Author: Jane Wagner
Nationality: American
b. 2 February 1935
  
 If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question? 
Author: Jane Wagner
Nationality: American
b. 2 February 1935
  
 If the formula for water is H2O, is the formula for an ice cube H2O squared? 
Author: Jane Wagner
Nationality: American
b. 2 February 1935
  
 If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library? 
Author: Jane Wagner
Nationality: American
b. 2 February 1935
  
 If you read a lot of books, you're considered well-read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well-viewed. 
Author: Jane Wagner
Nationality: American
b. 2 February 1935
  
 Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world. 
Author: Jane Wagner
Nationality: American
b. 2 February 1935
  
 The best mind-altering drug is truth. 
Author: Jane Wagner
Nationality: American
b. 2 February 1935
  
 The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat. 
Author: Jane Wagner
Nationality: American
b. 2 February 1935
  
 Guess what, I might be the first hippie pinup girl. 
Author: Janis Joplin
Nationality: American
b. 19 January 1943  - d. 4 October 1970
  
 I have often wished I had time to cultivate modesty. But I am too busy thinking about myself. 
Author: Dame Edith Sitwell
Nationality: British
b. 7 September 1887  - d. 9 December 1964
  




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