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First Base: Who Second Base: What Third Base: I Don't Know Left field: Why Center field: Because Pitcher: Tomorrow Catcher: Today Shortstop: I Don't Care/I Don't Give a Darn/I Don't Give a Damn The name of the shortstop is not given until the very end of the routine, and the right fielder is never identified. In the Selchow and Righter board game, the right fielder's name is "Nobody". At one point in the routine, Costello thinks that Naturally is the first baseman: Abbott: You throw the ball to first base. Costello: Then who gets it? Abbott: Naturally. Costello: Naturally. Abbott: Now you've got it. Costello: I throw the ball to Naturally. Abbott: You don't! You throw it to Who! Costello: Naturally. Abbott: Well, that's it - say it that way. Costello: That's what I said. Abbott: You did not. Costello: I said I throw the ball to Naturally. Abbott: You don't! You throw it to Who! Costello: Naturally. Abbott's explanations leave Costello hopelessly confused and infuriated, until the end of the routine when Costello finally appears to catch on. Costello: Now I throw the ball to first base, whoever it is drops the ball, so the guy runs to second. Who picks up the ball and throws it to What. What throws it to I Don't Know. I Don't Know throws it back to Tomorrow - a triple play. . Abbott: Yeah, it could be. Costello: Another guy gets up and it's a long fly ball to Because. Why? I don't know. He's on third, and I don't care! Abbott: What was that? Costello: I said, I DON'T CARE! Abbott: Oh, that's our shortstop!


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