Top 10 Bill Maher, Jr. Quotes at QuotationFun

Displaying Top 10 Bill Maher, Jr. quotes

Our Biography page will tell you more about Bill Maher, Jr.

That's the problem with the Drudge-Rush-Fox axis-of-evil news bubble. Nothing gets into these people's heads. They only listen to what they want to hear. They listen to what confirms what they believe. And what they believe is what they got from these people to begin with. You know, when Glenn Beck had his big rally on the mall, he said something like - he at one point said, "Today, I was holding George Washington's inaugural in my hand." No - you can't do that - it's in Plexiglas. You can't - it's 200 years old. You can't give that to people to pass around and smudge up with their grimy fingers. But it didn't matter, because it never matters to these people because nothing they say is ever fact-checked. The governor of Arizona talks about how illegals - you saw this on the news - were beheading people in Arizona. When the press asked her about it, because it was patently untrue, she just ran away. Sarah Palin never talks to the press because they might ask her a question that she doesn't have a pat answer for. They know they don't have to deal with reality, because they don't have to go to what used to be the mainstream press.

Larry King Live interview - 14 September, 2010

Politics, Stupidity, Patriotism

Now if you're just out of the mainstream, if you don't have blind Bush love, you are somehow suspect. Don't ever let them tell you that. Be out of the mainstream. I'm out of the mainstream. I enjoy it, who wants to be in the mainstream? When Ronald Reagan was running, he would always say 'it's morning in America' and everybody would smile and I would think 'yeah but, I'm not a morning person'. I'm the guy who thinks religion is bad and drugs are good. I think children aren't innocent, god doesn't write books, and Jesus wasn't a republican. I think girls hate each other, no doesn't mean no and being drunk is funny. I'm for mad cow disease, how am I gonna win that? I'm against suing tobacco companies. I think abstinence is a perversion. I think Bush's lies are worse than Clinton's. I think Vegas was better when it was run by the mob. I think men are only as loyal as their options. I think stereotypes are true and rehab is for quitters.

Victory Begins at Home - 20 January 2004

Politics, Truth, Patriotism

Rush Limbaugh, who has made a career preaching that anybody who does drugs has got to go right to jail - do not pass go, no questions asked, right to jail - gets caught doing thirty oxycontin a day. Thirty oxycontin?! Do you have any idea how high that is?! I don't, and I've been pretty high!

I'm Swiss - 2005

Hypocrisy, Politics, Patriotism, Drugs

“But I think it is much more likely that there could be space ships from outer space, than what a lot of things people believe. People still believe, you know, excuse me I know I may inject religion into every show but UFOs are a lot more likely than a space god that flew down bodily and you know who was the Son of God and you know had sex with a Palestinian woman

Real Time with Bill Maher - January 25.

Politics, Religion, Patriotism

I'm supposed to be all re-injected with yes-we-can fever after the big health care speech, and it was a great speech - when Black Elvis gets jiggy with his teleprompter, there is none better. But here's the thing: Muhammad Ali also had a way with words, but it helped enormously that he could also punch guys in the face.

New Rule: Float Like Obama, Sting Like Ali - Huffington Post - 2009

Politics, Patriotism

Republicans say that sex is bad, because with them it always is. I'm sorry, but they're just doughy, asexual, wonky, white people, and if you had to have sex with them it would be over in an excruciating three minutes. It's just, - and from the headlines of the past year I gather the only sex they're really good at, is gay sex. Really. Jeff Gannon in the White House press room, Representative Mark Foley, the Reverend Ted Haggard. I mean, that's an awful lot of gay when you're running against it in every election.

The Decider - 21 July 2007

Politics, Sex, Patriotism, Respect

You can’t be a rational person six days of the week and put on a suit and make rational decisions and go to work and, on one day of the week, go to a building and think you’re drinking the blood of a 2,000-year-old space god. That doesn’t make you a person of faith…That makes you a schizophrenic. O’Brien followed up by asking Maher whether or not anyone who is religious is schizophrenic: Well, yes, sort of, because they have walled off a part of their mind.”

Late Night with Conan O’Brien - NBC - January 4 - http://www.catholicleague.org/

Politics, Religion, Patriotism

They accuse me of being a Catholic bigot. First of all, I don’t have it out especially for Catholics. I think all religions are coo-coo. Ok? It’s not just the Catholics. I’m not a bigot. Just because I wish for the demise of an organization that I think is entirely destructive to the human race, that doesn’t make me a bigot.

Larry King Live - CNN - February 4.

Politics, Religion, Patriotism

I want to thank some very special people without whom I would not be here today. George Bush, Sarah Palin and the Pope. When I came to Hollywood in 1983, I had one dream - to sleep with Jodie Foster. That didn't work out, but this is nice, too.

On getting his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame - 14 September 2010, as reported on Larry King Live - 14 September 2010.

Humor, Politics, Religion, Patriotism

Christine O'Donnell … was one of our most frequent guests on Politically Incorrect. People who may not remember Politically Incorrect because they're too young or they were watching Johnny Carson or something … may not remember that we created people like Ann Coulter, Laura Ingraham… we did like to book a lot of female conservatives. They were good press and they were good for the show. We loved Christine O'Donnell. I still like her. You cannot not like her. She is such a nice person. We have a great clip that used to be in our highlight reel of Ben Affleck on that show just saying "Please, Christine, shut up." Because I guess she would just go on. She was known back then as the girl from SALT. SALT being the Savior's Alliance for Lifting the Truth. … So part of me for sentimental reasons is rooting for Christine O'Donnell in Delaware. The other part of me is rooting for her because she's going to get her Christian ass kicked in the general election.

Larry King Live interview - 14 September, 2010

Politics, Patriotism

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